Self Hypnosis: Go From Bummed to Bold in Just 30 Days!

By Mike Shery
What is hypnosis? It is a state of mind characterized by a trance-like, hyper-attentiveness. When you enter a hypnotic state, you are aware of deep relaxation, of your imagination beginning to flourish and of a state of letting-go or hyper-suggestibility.

Under this altered mental state, you are more apt to be open to suggestions of positive changes from someone else or yourself. Contrary to the beliefs of most laymen, hypnosis is not a state of sleep or unconsciousness.

As a matter of fact, when hypnotized, you are alert throughout the entire process. Not only that, but I bet you did not know that hypnosis occurs regularly in our daily waking life, without our even being aware of it.

It is merely hyper-alertness and hyper-awareness. One example is our experience of total absorption in a movie or book, in which, for a time, we notice nothing else in our environment, but we are highly aware of what is taking place in the movie or book.

So this being the case, what is hypnosis used for? It is used to treat or manage many things, including chronic pain, weight gain, asthma symptoms and cigarette smoking.

Hypnosis is used in the treatment of illnesses and behavioral problems like deficient self-esteem, shyness, and even premature ejaculation. In many cases, hypnosis is not used just by itself, but in combination with other treatment modalities.

There are several methods used to induce the hypnotic state. Usually it is induced, using the skills of a qualified hypnotherapist.

With this method, the hypnotherapist delivers calming and relaxing suggestions, which help in blocking distractions and enhancing your openness to suggestion. This facilitates your ability to deeply concentrate on the therapist's suggestions.

The therapist will target particular goals and ways of managing certain situations that are relevant to you when making his suggestions. He may also suggest alternative strategies for you to implement to facilitate the achievement of certain goals.

Mental or guided imagery is another widely used hypnotic strategy. When using this, the therapist activates your imagination by inducing your creation of relevant mental images.

The idea is to visualize images of the things that you want to obtain or achieve. For example, a student might visualize the image of a report card filled with all As.

The third and most convenient technique is self-hypnosis, in which you induce hypnosis independently in yourself. For self hypnosis, various techniques apply, such as using positive affirmations targeting goal achievement or stimulating images that will trigger enhancement of your confidence level.

Self hypnosis is used primarily to assist in habit management and in the sculpting and controlling of certain problem emotions and behaviors you may have.

When you place yourself in a hypnotic state, believe it or not, you will still have full and conscious control over your behavior and your mind. One huge convenience of self hypnosis is that you can place yourself in a hypnotic state independently, without having to rely on an outside hypnotist.

How is it done? How do you hypnotize yourself? First, arrange things so that you are not disturbed during the process.

Then, before starting, identify only one goal that you want to achieve. Other goals can be addressed, individually, in subsequent sessions.

In starting your session, first concentrate on a spot or item situated slightly above the level of your eyes. Then, breathe deeply and mentally instruct yourself to relax both your mind and body.

As part of this process, close your eyes and concentrate on a simple sound, such as a bird chirping or rain drops. Once relaxed, imagine yourself steadily climbing a staircase, on the top of which is your ultimate destination such as, a tranquil, serene and beautiful beach.

Tell yourself that with each step you take, you will be letting go of your anxieties and tension. When you come upon the last step, before reaching the final destination, begin repeating your pre-planned suggestions to yourself.

After finishing them, imagine arriving at the scene of the final destination. Take several deep breaths and slowly open your eyes. Your session of self hypnosis is now finished.

People most often use self hypnosis to manage the effects of daily stress in their lives because it facilitates reduction in the activity of stress hormones and anxiety.

Do this every day for 30 days; then, be prepared to be astounded at the results!

READ MORE - Self Hypnosis: Go From Bummed to Bold in Just 30 Days!

Do You Avoid People? Go From "Fearful" to "Formidable" in Just Days!

By Mike Shery
Two types of people are very frustrating and puzzling to their significant others, those with Avoidant Personalities and those with Schizoid personalities.

Avoidant Personality

Those who suffer from the Avoidant Personality Disorder feel insecure, impotent, helpless, and deficient in self-esteem. As a result, they are withdrawn and socially detached or distant.

They are very self-conscious about their perceived shortcomings and are hypersensitive and hypervigilant for signs of rejection or disapproval. In extreme cases, even the slightest, most benign and well intentioned criticism or disagreement can be perceived as embarrassing, abusive or rejecting.

Therefore, in order to avoid such perceived rejection, the Avoidant personality tries, as much as possible, to avoid social and other situations that require close contact with others. That would include any number of situations that are part and parcel of everyday life, such as attending weddings, inviting people to dinner or other social events or attending college classes or seminars, to name just a few.

Not surprisingly, Avoidant types find it almost impossible to engage in intimate relationships. They often test the possibility of a relationship by tip-toeing into it and scrupulously assessing whether the other person will accept them close to, or totally unconditionally.

They desperately require ongoing reassurance to enable them to feel attractive, validated, significant etc. People often view those with Avoidant personalities as shy, timid, withdrawn, quiet, tentative, distant, tense, insecure, inhibited and sometimes, even "stuck-up" because of the interactive "distance" they maintain.

Avoidant types typically have vigilant interactive styles and are very careful and self-protective when with others, causing others to have troubling doubts about them! They believe, in the background, if not in the forefront of their minds, not only that they are socially and interpersonally incompetent, but that others simply do not like them.

They entertain these assumptions so strongly that they may construe a genuinely positive message from someone as negative in some way. For instance, they may view an honest offer of help conveyed by someone as just a form of deception or manipulation.

When in the presence of others, Avoidant types are generally withdrawn and very tentative. When unavoidably involved socially, they communicate an empty-sounding humility and and a very "under-stated" persona.

To the Avoidant, this strategy makes the occurrence of criticism or disagreement from others less likely.

Schizoid personalities.

Schizoid types are similar to Avoidants in interpersonal distancing, but for a different reason. The reason relates to the their experience of pleasure, reward and satisfaction.

You see they have none; they have a very difficult time feeling good or pleasure about much of anything. Enjoyment or real satisfaction is hardly ever seen on their faces.

The term for the inability to experience pleasure is "anhedonia." Those who know schizoid people see them as distant, disinterested, unengaged and "just going through the motions."

Sounds like depression or Avoidant personality, doesn't it, but it is not. Schizoid types appear merely indifferent and totally uncaring regarding the impact of social interaction, engagement and relationships.

They have a very restricted range of emotions, rarely express any feelings and are simply unable to feel "intimacy" with anyone. Because of this, the schizoid's significant other, if he has one, often feels lonely and "empty."

They are even indifferent to sex, rarely showing any interest. This causes more problems for any significant others because they do not feel valued or attractive.

It is a very emotionally impoverished personality type; they create the impression of being distant, indifferent, flat, uncaring and emotionally stunted. Close family or social groups give them no feelings of intimacy, closeness or satisfaction.

They would rather do things by themselves and are very solitary in their lifestyle. Vocationally, they tend to work in occupations that are cut-and-dried. You know what they say about accountants and engineers!

They are relatively rigid and lack cognitive flexibility in the way they deal with issues. Faced with changes that require this flexibility, their coping skills may manifest signs of deterioration and they may act-out.

They portray the impression of not caring what others think and they appear to adhere to mindless routine. They do not respond effectively to social stimuli, social triggers or interactions. They are not "deep" and often have little, of any consequence, to say.

What about Professional Help?

Professional help usually involves:

1. Individual counseling or psychotherapy. The purpose of counseling is to understand yourself and your situation clearer.

You get objective feedback, support and guidance from a professional with experience in treating abuse in relationships.

2. Group therapy. Attending therapy in a group setting desensitizes you to your anxiety and teaches you how to communicate better in an environment which is, itself, social.

You get objective feedback, support and guidance, not only from a professional, but from your peers experiencing similar problems as you. Money should not deter you because both types of counseling can be received from private practitioners and non-profit sliding scale community agencies.

3. Cognitive therapy-oriented self-therapy kits (STKs) and articles and books.

If going to counseling seems initially like too big a step, reading articles and books, attending seminars and using cognitive therapy-oriented self-therapy or home therapy kits (STKs) can help. STKs are self-help programs that use cognitive therapy to tutor you, step-by-step on how to deal with your social engagement anxiety.

As opposed to books and articles, they teach assertive social skills using cognitive therapy in a multimedia format: CDs, DVDs, MP3s, e-books, workbooks, audios, videos etc. Cognitive-behavioral tutoring on how to become engaged in relationships can be very helpful.

Dr Shery earned his doctorate at the Univ. of Southern Calif.He is a counselor in Cary, IL with 30 years experience. He provides multimedia self-help programs which help his patients to happily engage and relate to others. They have helped thousands of people and are guaranteed to

READ MORE - Do You Avoid People? Go From "Fearful" to "Formidable" in Just Days!